Okay, So what is it?

The question above has been asked of me, what is all this in aid of? Is it philosophy? Is it ego? Is it just a blog?

I am an office worker. I work for an agency for a huge multifaceted company living week to week trying to hold together a creative life, a social life, a professional life and am quite comfortable in my little self built rut.

About a year ago I stopped learning about myself and started earning. Drinking from week to week, my flat is slowly decaying and my opinion of myself is of the corporate slave who gave in.

I started young and ambitious, with wisdom to impart, a keen eye for detail, a disdain for the way society was structured and the way Humans treat each other. Now I am a sycophantic neophobe who thinks as himself, but acts as a robot. I type in the job number, give customer service, I talk about revolution and I go home to my Xbox 360 and await another depressing weekend of lying on my back staring into space.

I have a keen interest in research of off colour subjects. The columbine High school massacre, 9/11 conspiracy theories, the Kennedy assassination, quantum physics, programming, operating systems, hypnotherapy. But I never felt the need to apply any of my philosophy to my life. Dualism, peaceful protest, love and kindness to others and balancing the ego.

I was waiting, I could feel it coming, something, a whole load of new information. After around 4 months of this constant stream of information coming through from pure coincidences, several hundred hours of different views being watched that fit the smallest pieces of my truth into place. Then 3 things happened at once, my flatmate decided to move to London (still pending), one of my best friends became so very low and I stumbled across a video on the law. Three unrelated things, but they connected all the dots in reasons I will not go into now. I had nowhere to go and I had realised WHY something was very wrong with how the world worked. There's a bathroom at my job where somebody had written on the wall with a compass “what have I done with my 30 years? Don't let it happen to you...HELP!” I realised the waiting was over. Why had I made movies, written music and novels for no gain other than enjoyment? Why did I feel the need to learn in my youth about philosophers, religions, acting, and attempt to ply my trade to as many things as possible until I had a more than casual grasp?

It's for this, the final piece fell into place.

I've started understanding my path, it is freedom, peace and self. And now, with the comfort slowly being pulled out from under me, I have somewhere to go. This blog, the vlog and the book I'm writing, are all about my search for my true self, and the true self of consciousness.

Money need have no value to me, worry for myself need have no value to me, I am a peaceful man born free on this planet into abundance. I am to abandon all false pretenses of structure, hierarchy and logic, and attempt to find out who is beneath it all? My job, my bank account, my flat, I am none of these things and plan to slowly release them for what I wanted I already had. I'm not even my person, and the law states this very clearly.

My Name is Rich of the Craig family. I want to stand up, and become responsible for my own life, my own happiness, my own abundance, no longer be a ward of the state, of my job, of the banks and of my own hate for myself.

Bill Hicks once said:

“And we can change it anytime we want. It's only a choice. No effort, no work, no job, no savings, and money. A choice, right now, between fear and love. The eyes of fear want you to put bigger locks on your doors, buy guns, close yourselves off. The eyes of love, instead, see all of us as one. Here's what you can do to change the world, right now, to a better ride. Take all that money that we spend on weapons and defence each year, and instead spend it feeding, clothing and educating the poor of the world, which it would many times over, not one human being excluded, and we could explore space, together, both inner and outer, for ever, in peace.”

This blog, my upcoming vlog, and the book I'm writing, are the story of this choice.

Peace, Love, Empathy,

Rich

Kymatica

As it's a Monday, thought I might explain the presence of a different "path"(link) every week.

This week I choose Kymatica, by Benjamin: Stewart, a film entered into the Cannes Film Festival and in my opinion shows and proliferates a true understanding of the Cymatic nature of our dualist universe.

Benjamin and his brother are working hard to raise the consciousness of the sovereign human beings across the world. They both allow you to watch the video for free in numerous places, including the bbc5 "Eyeplayer", google video and esoteric tube (link to the right).

DVD disks of the video and its prequel "Esoteric Agenda" packaged in a similar manner to the products of the cult of Dionysus in Hollywood, and are available on the website http://www.talismanicidols.org/ .

I came to Kymatica roughly 9 hours after one of the most revealing nights of my life, spent with my friend commonly called Hannah AKA "Hannah Heartshape" where this dualism was revealed to us just after we started discussing the duality of Law/legality, the left/right brain, Amonistic theology/Esoteric Symbology and the Self/Ego complex, I arrived home that night and slept. The very next day whilst watching The State of the Union from the lawful rebellion conference in stoke available on BBC5.tv Eyeplayer, I stumbled over Kymatica and was shocked, not only had somebody else observed this dualism in the entire fractal of existence, they had documented this concisely and accurately.

It is a striking film that holds an important metaphysical-model that one should bear in mind at all times when dealing with other cells within the definable conscious organism known as Earth. We are always able to communicate with other “cells” (humans) unknowingly acting as cancer (ego/anti-life) when conducting their affairs in ignorance, and absolve them of their actions using the antidote to their word magic so they further understand your absolution and love for them. They will see this as arrogance, for they still work within an ego based hierarchy, when even the law states we are all second only to god, and god is undefined. They will react verbally; they will attempt a personal attack, projection, and attempt to execute the messenger rather than the message.

These are the standard reactions of somebody not wishing to face themselves and the power that they already had, the self that was already there and had everything it needed in abundance already supplied providing one was ready to listen to the consciousness of everything and allow its messages to truly be understood.

The reaction is really encompassed and engendered by an astute refusal to research this for their self, when they violently oppose common law with the steadfast belief that they understand that a government act and statute is a “law”, that they understand legal means lawful, or even outright refuse to believe they are second to god, start deconstructing the words they use, and communicate the legal definition of each question they ask. Never answer a statement with a statement, make a statement, allow them to ask questions, when they make a statement ask questions yourself. A statement is always a statement of truth, and a statement answered by another statement is the collision of two truths, this will always lead to an argument, because two truths cannot share the same space without fighting for dominance.

A question in law is always a tool of negotiation, and is always to be assumed to be legitimate to better clarify the nature of a statement or request. Isn’t that the case with all human communication?

Speaking of my last sentence, can you imagine what it would be like if there was a mode of speech that would force a human brain to automatically listen to and process what you say?
Wouldn’t it be wonderful?
Couldn’t you achieve brilliant things if there existed a method of communication that forced the person to process the information conveyed?

As you may have noticed by rather obvious skirting around, that method of forcing a brain to process a command and analyze itself already exists. In Neuro Linguistic Programming and Hypnotherapy this is one of the foremost lessons with communication. Providing a question is worded correctly, it can be the most powerful tool in making Humans aware of your peaceful intent very quickly. The core concept is to recognise that any statement that is not mindful of its true meaning is operating within a fixed ego structure and therefore hampering growth and development. Therefore rather than attacking the structure directly with a contrary statement, one should ask peacefully for clarity on the structure of their statement. For instance:

Them: I do not see God/Love/Life/Tao/Path as interchangeable, I believe in no God.
Me: What is your definition of God?
Them: The Christian God
Me: So you allow Christians to define your model for God?
Them: No, but common law that you ascribe to speaks of the Christian god
Me: Does it? I don’t remember where it says each human is answerable to God it specifies the definition of God, could you show me?
Them: Well I haven’t read it, but if it doesn’t define which god it speaks then God could be a cheese sandwich?
Me: Yes, so when the law speaks of god it means that the human is only answerable to his own model of god, and therefore only answerable to himself, agreed?
Them: Yes.

Instantly, we’ve allowed them to process the idea and disseminate the code in the language itself, and have such seen through another layer of their ego structure, this has taken their fixed, ego based model for society and instantly made it a free, moveable, dynamic verb, only changed by the context it is reviewed from, and as the question bypasses the ego, they have to make a conscious effort to ignore the question if they fall into the same model.

All conversation is a game, it is a transaction. Any interaction between humans is a set of transactions, as proposed by Eric Berne the father of transactional analysis; most humans are involved in a set of social games with easily defined rules, where each acts in a certain way and conform to a set of guidelines.

These are all ego based as the ego is centred on structure and analysis, learning and repeating learned behaviours, this is due to the “left brain” (effecting the right side of the body) being an entirely structure based entity, it operates a character/set of characters as an actor does on a stage. The predefined character is all set by in archetypes laid down within all the major religions and theologies stemming from the body’s within our sky.

Alistair Crowley used to commonly force his initiates to write with their left hands. The purpose of this was understood to be to raise their consciousness of their actions by forcing them into the right brain. You will notice the trend of right handedness within society is a great sign of a lack in balance within the human psyche, which is projected onto the world.

In my last post I spoke of the cult of Dionysus, he was the greek god of art and revelry. He is a subset of the sun worshippers, of whom Jesus, Krishna, Horus, Moses, Buddha and more modern day incarnations such as Elvis, Lennon and John F Kennedy are all archetypal incarnations of the sun king.

Dionysus as an incarnation gains power and fame through revelry and art. He is listed as the god of wine, theatre, grapes, ritual madness and ecstasy, and wandered the earth cultivating wine and causing many parties and celebrations. He created theatre and art, however his parties and madness sometimes overshadowed his art entirely, he was known for vicious anger and striking beauty.

Nowhere is Dionysus invoked and conformed to as a psychological archetype than within the commercial art sector. Great riches falling into the hands of beautiful stars whose penchant for parties are matched only by the pure obscenity of their lifestyles. Dionysus was an archetype of the sun, his movements and tales similar to that of other sun gods, born of a virgin on the 25th December (the sun sits under Virgo on the 25th of December, between the solstice and the 25th the sun does not change it’s position in the sky for 3 days, on the 24th of December the “three kings” of Orions belt travel from the west to the east until they are in exact alignment with the north star, pointing to where the sun will rise) I could continue about this all day. Being a sun king or invocation of the sun king archetype is the ultimate way to achieve fame.

Within the Eleusinian mystery cult, partaking of Dionysus symbolic flesh and blood (bread and wine) was seen as a form of sacrifice to get better grain to ensure crop fertility. The modern day equivalent can easily be found in the sacrificing of celebrity by the media tycoons who on one hand fund their publishing giant and on the other hand allowing the paparazzi to run them into an early grave, either indirectly through character assassination, or directly through over-emphasizing the glamour of a headonistic lifestyle. An example of the former is seen in the recent death of Micheal Jackson, a star/king who fell from great height, died, and then had his career resurrected symbolically in a return to number one. An example of the latter would Cobain, Hendrix, Elvis. All sun kings.

Those who went beyond their assigned role of being worshipped, and began speaking of truth, very soon die at the hands of others. Kennedy when he went from idle worship and stepped out of the archetype and began telling the truth about usury based fiat money systems, Abraham Lincoln before him, John Lennon, Martin Luther King Jr. All sacrificed, and then invoked once again as archetypes by those that killed them.

The cult of Dionysus is any celebratory means where revelry and ritual predicate worship of beauty and art. The nightclubs slowly replacing the humble public house, each with it’s own uniform code of beauty and ritualised form of worship to the stars and sun kings…but each exactly the same phenomenon, whether you are in a dance club, a rock club, an indie club, a hip-hop club. The definition of beauty and stardom may change, but the core elements of Dionysus worship are all present. And through this we act as an archetype, we each act as Dionysus to avoid facing our true self.

The real part of the games we play, and a common game played within the cult of Dionysus identified in the book “The Games People Play” by Berne is “Alcoholic”.

In game/transactional analysis, we find there is no such thing as an alcoholic, just a role called “Alcoholic” within a “set play”, the true symbolism of this is that worshipping Dionysus often creates a life game the ego plays based on addiction. This can be played with as many as 5 people, and as little as 2. it requires the alcoholic, who makes the first move like a white piece on a chessboard (white, light, sun, etc).

White is addicted to a substance, it requires someone to chastise him into seeking help and sympathy, someone to help him, him to cross a bridge and stay “clean”, and then to relapse. This can be played indefinitely.

So we wonder why Dionysus continues to haunt us? And who benefit from it?

Well, Society is controlled by ego and archetypes, without the ego and left brain, we would have to take responsibility for our own actions rather than using ego to project blame onto others. The only way to alter this is to analyse the game we are playing, illuminate those who have become the king and queen on the chessboard and remind them that behind it is a hand, guiding everything. The chessboard, chequerboard is a symbol of this process, the grand game that takes consent to play. This is why our Policy Enforcement Officers all wear the chequerboard.

This is even referenced in the “four corner rule” in law, a maxim that states anything within four corners represents an additional rule set, a document within a document. When we enter a court room, and step over the threshold, we board a ship and go from being a human to acting as a person in commerce, when we have a closed dock within a courtroom there is a second level to this, as if one enters the court and proclaims he is a human being by acquiescence before entering, he is acting as a human and not a person. Entering a closed dock, places him within four corners WITHIN four corners, which causes him to become subject to the jurisdiction of anything outside the four corners of the dock but within the four corners of the courtroom.

These are layers of ego upon ego, and returning these to their natural point, communicating self to self, is the only way human beings can accept full responsibility for their actions.

By questioning the very nature of the game, by always questioning the language used and eliminating these boxes, we force their ego to be bypassed and analyse from the place of the player, the actor, the true human being, who has the ability to consciously execute authority over the critical factor of the ego and therefore consciously change the very nature of the circuits that define the act.

We can make them realise they are subject to control because they give it away. They have word magic transformed upon their "person" by the slight of hand occurring in the languages English and Legalese, and further word magic occurred in the translation from Sanskrit to Aramaic to Hebrew to Latin to English. The latter trapped us in the ego; the former traps us in society.

This history (his-story) of us is communicated within every aspect of our language, the microcosm of a microcosm of a microcosm within infinite regress within one giant fractal. Through careful analysis of the parts, dissemination of our universe and self, we see reflected in self every aspect of the infinity, the true consciousness manifesting within this level of consciousness, within the individual cells of our bodies, within the planets of the universe right down to the molecules, forming individual strings of subatomic consciousness, communicating the whole at one time.

This is Kymatica.

Unconditional Peace, Unconditional Love, Unconditional Empathy,

Rich

"a man will meet you carrying an earthen pitcher of water; follow him into the house where he goes in"

Sorry I've been so long in updating, I've been drafting my notice of intent and claim to right which I will be serving to the Home Office, The Prime-Minister, The Chief Constable of Nottingham Police, Elizibeth:Windsor and her Person known as "Elizabeth II, Dei Gratia Magnae Britanniae, Hiberniae et terrarum transmarinarum quae in ditione sunt Britannica Regina, Fidei Defensor," and all derivitives thereof.

Alot of stuff has happened otherwise worth speaking of, the first being the birthday celebration of my dear friend Adrian:Kelly, AKA "AK". A fantastic evening spent in good company drinking and swimming in the beauty of the high night air 12 stories above nottingham's main ritualistic epicenter of the cult of Dionysus, which sits around a Masonic Lodge, if they can feed off the energies of the hedonistic cult of the sun god's more, "artistic" incarnation then so can we, and we did. We drank in the air and clear evening turned to crisp night, and after those still up for worshiping the sun went to dance me and AK retired to his place to enjoy a few more hours of drinking and listening to the sounds of artists who speak of truths and great revelry. A better ode to the kymatic and spiritual evolution we are both participating in could not be scripted by the most poetic wit upon this great land.

As he sheds his ego piece by piece, and I shed mine, as do the humans surrounding us. The power and happiness craved before was already ours. It shall will remain ours, providing we claim it and defend it. And once claimed in full knowledge of the claim then we just have to explore the freedom and possibilities of infinite growth it allows us to put into our lives and every life wish to touch.

I have come to applying to the 4 corners rule in my day to day life to truly understand the finer points of contract law, but I shall leave that for another day. Layers upon Layers of consciousness, constantly fractal.

My housemate has left for Rome for a few days, so I am truly within the house of Pisces for one last time, when he returns the big changes must begin, and the path to Aquarius must become me.

For my greatest work is just waking up, my self still swimming half in dream, half in consciousness, the big thrust is coming, and I must, in secure knowledge that the world is of no consequence within the mind of a consciously manifesting human being, rise into myself. The consciousness is shifting, the vibrations of Aquarius are starting to penetrate, can you feel it?


Unconditional Peace, Unconditional Love, and Unconditional Empathy,

Rich

Being a Freeman In Employment

I'm currently acting on behalf of my person as an agency [Party A] worker on assignment within a high profile company [Party B].
Today at work somebody handed me a document, now this person is my coach in employment, and it stated a new procedure, followed by a Signature space and date, however it didn't state it was an internal document, had no insignia of either my agency or the company I was on assignment to on it, and therefore was simply transferring personal liability for his duties as a coach from him to me, and stating this procedure was subject to the disciplinary procedure of the corp I am on assignment at.

As I understand this is a common law transfer of liability statement given to me, I replied in kind buy giving him back a signed notice regarding the document I had received stating the following:

Notice regarding document titled [Document title] with No date given.

To XXX of the XXX family. Please be aware that the document you have given me does not identify to whom it is addressed, who sent it, what agency you are acting under, what the purpose of it is or which person it is addressed to. As this document is not addressed to anyone I can only assume this is either an attempt to contract with me on an unrelated business matter, or a request that I provide witness.

A document in this format is a statement, and me signing it would infer that those words appearing on it are mine, I do not wish to take your words as my own as I am perfectly capable of writing anything I wish to say out.

Without prejudice I do not wish to contract with you regarding this matter.

If you are wishing me to provide a signature regarding a contractual matter, or a matter relating to your role as [COACH] at [PARTY B] in regards to [MR RICHARD CRAIG] and his contract existing with [PARTY A] then I would recommend you rewrite what you have given me, with my [NAME] and [POSITION] along with the above details so I am fully aware of the implications of my signiture and can better understand to what I am agreeing/witnessing, as presently it is my understanding that the documents status as a piece of paper is a transfer of liability and I do not accept liability on any part.

As the document received does not state whose jurisdiction it falls under, legislative, commercial or otherwise I can only assume it falls under common law jurisdiction and I do not consent or acknowledge you having any common law authority over me.

I do not wish to discuss this matter with a third party, and reserve all rights and privileges. Failure to resolve the issues I have regarding this private matter, or reply in kind to this correspondence within (five) 5 days will be considered dishonour and will force me to consider this matter closed and ignore further correspondence by power of lawful estoppel with equitable remedy.

Thanks

Rich of the Craig Family

I don't care about my job too much, Large companies work on transfer of liability, that's why the people at the top still get golden parachutes when they run a company into the ground, by transferring liability onto the people under them through common law contracts.

And when the GM of the department was made aware I had worked out what he was doing.....he could no longer look me in the eye. His minions running around like headless chickens, it's funny as hell.

*Additional* As a fellow freeman theorist at work noticed, neither of us dated what we were given. So my understanding is that that paper must be trying to communicate me and not the person who gave it to me, even better, more fun to be had with this soon.

Congratulations To Darren Pollard, Freeman

Would just like to send my fondest wishes to Darren Pollard, who is today a FREEMAN, after being released without charge by a limited company who unlawfully detained him.

Full details at http://www.raymondstclair.com/ and http://www.tpuc.org/content/Silencing-a-Free-Man .

As always his work is a brilliant example of what true freedom is.

Love: The Contractual Model

Speaking earlier with a friend known as AK about a third party who AK is longing for. In doing so I applied the methodology of contracting to the methodology of love and found a very interesting model I want to share.

AK: Seeing him at The festival, the misery all just came back in an instant, literally in less than a second. from seeing him, sumthing that wudnt happen if i was sumwhere better.

Me: your gonna see things that will remind you of him. Wherever you are, and it will pick at you, because the conflict is still not resolved within you.

AK: whats the conflict?

Me: the realisation that possession of him is irrelevant, if you love him, and truly, unconditionally love him, then you will allow him to go away, and it will cease hurting that he may not share the same thoughts, he will always be there, and the model of him in your mind will always be yours, it is something to live with, to absolve and forgive, and continue with.
His actions will never change how you feel about him.

AK: Literally, the light at the end of the tunnel for me in this situation is the distant hope that one day he'll get fcked over and be desperate or miserable enough to settle for the spaz thats been following him around for years.

Me: Let me put it this way, If at The festival, you saw him being beaten by 4 guys taking his stuff, would you defend him?

AK: Definately, I would end them.

Me: when you could do that, without feeling he owed you any debt, he had any reason to talk to you, and you had no reason to hope he would. When the act was based not on absolving yourself in his eyes, but simply physically defending something that meant something to you, no matter what it thought of you, you will be over him. You will be absolved, and he will have no effect on you, and you can continue loving him without needing him.

Everything else you feel involves a debt, or a return, or acknowledgement, or even accepting your existence as equal to his, but those are conditions he cannot fulfil, conditions you place on such an interaction. Because you currently see yourself/himself as emotionally in debt to the other in some way, a transaction unfulfilled, and that is why you feel you need him.

AK: He fucking chose me, he spoke to me on (website), if he didnt i wudnt be here, i wud have never seen or heard of him, and if i did it never wud have entered my head that id have a chance to begin with so i wudnt have ever bothered. He chose me, stole my heart, tore it up and threw it back at me.
He just came along and gave me all this pain, when all ive tried to do is be nice.

Me: In any other words AK you owe him an invoice, whereas he has seen his explanation to you as adequate payment for what he has stole from you you do not. The cd was to act as an invoice providing he listened to it, the music you've created was to act as an invoice...within the act of seeing what he stole from you he has seen it as not having the value you placed on it, this is the cause of your pain. But like a bank, like the council, like who ever else, only you have the power to balance the account, because he's making it quite clear he's not the type of human being who will. He has dishonoured you, is somebody who employs such mischief in their contracts worthy of contracting with you? worthy of such theft? worthy of having such an effect? that is for you to answer.

AK: Maybe thats exactly what i deserve.

Me: Bingo, and here we have why it hurts, because the real part of it all is because you believe you deserve it. Your self, believes you deserve it because the ego tells it to, the real nature of lack of attachment, being above the game, is to go in unconditionally, and you can do that at any time. Right now, you could choose to wipe all the conditions you'd previously placed on him, clear all debts, and just accept that you unconditionally love him no matter what he is doing, what he says about you and what he thinks, and with that, you will become immediately invincible regarding this whole matter.

And yes, that is alot easier said than done.

Forgiveness is what this is, For-Give, two words, meaning to give before anything else. Because giving requires nothing back, you feel he took your heart and he doesn't want to do anything to make amends....so release all the conditions you placed on what people had to do to receive such a privilege and just let him have it as a gift, give him your love, and expect nothing in return. That is what will cease the pain, any other condition, any other want or need will not.

AK: I took it in, i dont know what to do with that piece of information. Thats what im doing anyway, loving him and getting nothing in return

Me: Exactly, the trick is to require nothing, u will when you have suffered enough.

What lies above is something I have observed in both myself and others in the past, it's a form of transaction that occurs between two people in a relationship. Relationship is always a negotiation between two or more objects and their existence in relation to each other. To truly cover yourself against all eventualities is to love without condition, because a condition broken is a direct attack on the negotiated conditions of your love, and it will hurt.

Where the conditions should always lie in is whether the conditions apply to the relationship or not, let's take AK's predicament as an example. Here he has placed conditions upon love in that he feels the need to have love returned, which is not only a set of transactions, but also a contractual condition he has placed on love.

However the trap he has fallen into is that he is in love with this person regardless. He loves them until the earth stops and the planets die his love for them will never stop, that is the plain truth, that is how love works. Now if you imagine that ak was instead contracting with a Bar and what he is giving is money instead.

What we don't do is walk into a bar and freely give them money without establishing what they give us first. In essence though with falling into romantic feelings with somebody we are like alcoholics. We can't help but walk into that bar and give them money. This is where the analogy ends because conditional love is rarely met, and so what we end up doing and what ak has been doing is leaving money on the bar and then feeling embittered when the bar doesn't give him anything in return.

The only thing we can do in this situation is to say, "Okay, I love this person, that isn't going to change, but we can't meet each others conditions for a relationship, and they are giving me nothing in return, so they can take it as a gift and I will continue with my life."

Because if your gonna keep leaving your money around everywhere feeling like crap about it wont change a damn thing.

3am & Nuerosoup

Nice little video regarding free Entheogens; By My friend AKStar of 3am (Links to the right) and Nuerosoup of Youtube

So here we are, and this is what it looks like.

Ever since I was young, I never quite understood why the world worked the way it did. Certain things didn't make sense that don't make sense to me even now.

Like first of all, why did my parents say “think of the starving children in Africa!” before they threw my half eaten dinner away? They aren't going to ship my half eaten food to Africa, they wouldn't have shipped it had they known I wasn't going to eat it before they cooked it, in honesty had they not bothered to get the food and cook it for me neither would the store we bought it from.

Why do the charities that collect for the starving children collect money more often than food? Even if a child in one of these countries we've sucked all the life out of actually received what we'd given they would have to come here to spend it, and coins didn't seem that edible.

If my parents were so bothered about the starving children in Africa why didn't all the parents just cook what was needed for their children rather than heaping mountain fulls of food onto the plate and send the leftovers to one of those countries. One ship for every community here to feed our leftovers to every community over there.

I surmised in the end that this was because it would cost money to do it.

As I grew I found new layers to this question, like why the BBC (British Broadcasting Corporation) felt the need to fly impeccably dressed middle aged men to these areas, follow them around with a camera crew and have them commentate on the action so we could all tut and talk about how terrible it was. Wouldn't the Ethiopian people be a lot happier if instead of the BBC spending the thousands of pounds on gathering and transmitting such footage to overfed children in the UK they sent some food and ice cream (it looked hot there)?

This starving African children thing seemed all backwards. As much as it seemed like we were acknowledging the problem by sending inedible coins and Award Winning Correspondents like Mike Thompson and Peter Biles to gawp at all the starving children, we didn't DO anything.

My real curiosity was that while these news reporters were wandering around these places they would wear impeccable suits, sometimes have an umbrella up, occasionally drink from a bottle of water. The real questions that would play on my mind would be, where did the reporters stay? What did they eat? Was there a big air conditioned van or production truck hidden off camera filled with Sunny D and Wotsits? Was there a hotel a couple of miles down the road with vending machines full to the brim of coca cola and a group of french speaking migrants stood around with towels on their arms offering Peter Biles and his colleagues some freshly squeezed orange juice? And how the hell could he stand there filming the death of a naked, starving child and writing his next voice over when if it was his child, or even a boy walking the street outside of his swanky Mayfair apartment, he would probably take the child into his home, feed and wash it, and turn it over to the care system. All this for the benefit of a 5 minute filler segment between "choco rations" going up and the next party sponsored spin peace about housing prices or some magic talking dog who saved a girls life.

Yes, there was something wrong with the world I grew up in, and hopefully one day someone will read this and say we WERE backwards, because 23 years into my life and this statement is almost regarded as ludicrous.

So how does this system work? Why do we continue working within this system if it would seem the very way it is structured means that a geographical boarder can define what rights and value a human life has? Was I to feel lucky or spiritually privileged because I didn't live in one of these hell holes?

After all if we imagine my consciousness was just floating around the ether before my mother pops out a sprog and bam, the consciousness lands in this human vessel and where it is just happens to be one of the most opulent, decadent countries in the world, statistically that seems like the equivilent of winning the lottery.

I could continue down this path all day, this initial post could turn into a several thousand word essay alone. I do not want that, so I wont go down that path.

My main thought is that we live in a country and world where each essential human being is rhetorically stated to be equal in both rights and privileges. This simply is not true.

The crux of the matter is that had my “Soul” or “Consciousness” or whatever this unexplainable part of “Beingness” we are all aware of lying beyond all those layers of unthinking tissue; instead of choosing this body chose the body of the child dying in front of millions of British people having their dinner, I would NOT have been equal to them, because if I was equal I would be eating my dinner and not starving.

What makes me? What is Self, is self this position within this logos implemented societal structure that has the home and the debt and the food in the fridge, bank account and TV and washing up to do?

Or is self the bit of me that incredulously looked on in shock as Bono and his jet setting cohorts released “Feed the World” a second time when the first time seemingly fed a vastly smaller amount than was quoted on the cd? (Although bono's ego is definately planet sized, the world wasn't fed by the first cd.)

I have found a path in front of me, a path that says to me it is time to further explore this issue for the purpose of better knowing myself. Is this structure necessary?

Is it time for us as a race to allow the Nanny state to continue to distract us with televisions promises of a better life, archetypal freedom and vacuum packed composite individuality as she slowly locks all the doors and tapes up every piece of independence we had so we can't “hurt” ourselves. Or is it time for me to put away my toys and distractions, stand up and say “I am a grown up now nanny, and you are essentially here to serve me so your rules no longer apply nor are they necessary because I accept all responsibility for my actions. Stop messing around trying to run my life as I know I have the ability to do and get what I want, and start working with everyone else on my behalf to get them to do the same. And if you don't do it, I shall send you home and do it myself.”

What I am finding is a multi layered onion, each layer stark in colour but essentially made up of the same ingredients. A fractal like entity that traces back through the routes of civilization as a constant embodiment of the constant war between self and structure, Ascent and Descent, Consciousness and Language, Space and Time, Wakefulness and Sleeplessness.

As I strip each layer of the onion, I shall continue this blog as well as the book I am penning about this experience. I have a small amount of debts to clear which are plays within the game I made when I was not fully aware of the implications of what exactly I am, and that what I am participating is indeed a game with ultimately little satisfactory reward.So once these debts are clear in November of this year I will start living as if money and property have no value to me, as they will not.

I currently know myself as Rich:Craig. And this is my truth.

Additional: I'm aware this is a gross oversimplification of the crises facing Ethiopia and that charities don't physically send money directly to the starving kids, so don't bother telling me.