The Epiphany

Where have I been?

I have been hibernating, meditating, and coming to a more full knowledge of what I understand myself to be.

Why have I not been updating my Blog and Videos?

I’m realising that I am choking, starting at the beginning, a lot of the concepts I speak of are not very easy to put into words or symbols to which there is a unified understanding, and we all have seemingly different interpretation of what words, definition and metaphors mean. So I sit there in my video’s and I get nervous, because I know that before I get to my knowledge a fair amount of people will have analysed what I say and assume because I’m not willing to give them the whole answers in an easy to repeat soundbyte, that I don’t have any. This will be true in the sense that I do not wish to give people my answers, I wish to discuss what I know while giving an idea of how I came to what I do know so that those who read and view can have some tools to find their answers.

For a long time this troubled me, I would agonise over the video’s I was producing and worry about the content double checking and triple checking my work in an effort to work out if I had managed to condense a lifetimes worth of development of ideas and philosophies about complex subjects I could spend all day talking about into 10 minute videos that were easily accessible to my audience. A lot of my audience is made up of the kind of people who without certainty “know” 9/11 was inside job and “know” they are “awake” simply because they managed to sit through “the obama deception” or listen to david icke for 30 minutes.

One thing I realised from all of this was that I got a lot of people trying to debate me, I produced some video’s and posted some ideas in an attempt to heal another who I thought was injured, hurt or angry, and realised later that my attempt to heal had catalysed into a polar debate. Where I actually did the most healing within those video’s was the comment section. The reason it had turned into a polar debate was because it was a lesson for me and anyone who is looking to find meaning rather than controversy, what formed within the comment section of that video was a secularised macrocosm of an internal monologue.

The nature of this polarised issue was; on surface level, whether a revolution of peace could contain elements of violence, or whether a peaceful evolution of group paradigms was what needed to occur.

Thisseemed like a fairly black and white issue, and for a while I became frustrated as I felt I was being forced to commit to sides. However something quite amusing happened in this time.

Somebody decided to tell me I knew very little, and decided to tell me that the “PERSON” is a legal fiction. This sparked a realisation in me. As my previous blogs had outright talked about, such as the ones about legalese and law, along with my video’s on “archetypes in law” and “the freeman position” a lot of my ideas about law and archetypes were more thoroughly explained there, and people were outright wishing to “educate” me on things they “knew” under the assumption that I didn’t know them because I didn’t mention it in one 7 minute video about something completely unrelated.

The people involved had not had the foresight to look into my other video’s to gain a background knowledge of my perspective. For a while I assumed this to be my problem, and in a way it was, in that I felt a continuing pressure upon myself to make sure all my video’s and blog posts mentioned as much about my position as possible.

This in itself is silly, and has taken me a lot of searching within myself to fully realise what this means.

Why would I need to inform people of how many models I subscribe to in order for them to grade me on how “awake” I am? Why would it matter? I don’t wish to condense “truth” into a 7 minute video or a 6 paragraph blog post so that mini me's can wander around claiming to be awake while repeating everything I say, all I wish is to start a process of analysis within the viewer, to allow them to understand the process of gaining knowledge and understanding truth from within, not to give them a set of abstract pieces of information which may or may not have any relevance to the path they are here to walk.

What I’ve discerned is that within the search for truth there appears to be two types of people:

1: A group of people who subscribe to the label of “Awake” because they subscribe to a certain subculture of information, be it goth, preppy, truther, whatever. Usually they will each have their own projections and definitions as to what they believe the group, and will see themselves as wishing to “enlighten” others, to the degree where they no longer listen to what others state, they create a “them” and blame “them” for all the problems “they” have, to them the words “truth” and “movement” require one another to have any relevance to them. This of course means that their discovery of self is not really a discovery of their true nature as it depends entirely on others.

2: A group of people who realise that each entity has it’s own path and truth, and that truths can be fundamentally different conclusions borne from totally similar forms of knowledge, and yet, true knowledge and truth can communicate no matter what the source.

It bought to my attention why I was choking, it was because I was more worried about the end result, the product, than I was the journey that I was hoping to assist the viewer through.

With the amount of work I've put into finding meaning in my life, understanding that meaning and drawing from it to try and better understand the world around me, I now accept that accessibility is never going to be an option if I wish to better put into language and symbols that which I know to be my truth, and so I must take more time in my explanation to make sure foundation of knowledge is secured in those who have the patience to listen rather than attempting to appeal to those who do not.

With a better reflection of this, I feel comfortable communicating what I wish to once more.

I took some of my video's down, why would I do this?

I was uncomfortable with the things I expressed in them, as without context to my thought processes they seemed to be quite open to interpretation. Really they supplied little information on anything other than my position or conclusions. There is no knowledge to be had for the viewer if the video's did not express the feelings and thoughts I had in coming to those conclusions. Sadly I mourn the loss of my comments sections in each, however the intended recipient seemed to receive and show a conscious understanding of both on some level.